Knowing What to Do Was Never the Problem

I want to share something a little vulnerable with you today. Something that feels like a confession, honestly.

I’ve been a counsellor for nearly fifteen years. I’ve supported many women through perimenopause and their own wellness journeys. I’ve created programs that walk alongside women in the second half of their lives. I literally build personalised wellness plans with and for women, for a living.

And still, this year, I needed support to follow through on my own.

Not because I didn’t know what to do. I knew exactly what to do. Knowing was never the problem. This episode is about what was.

The Plan That Slid Quietly to the Bottom of the List

If you’d asked me a year ago what would help me feel stronger and more at home in my body, I could have told you easily. Move more. Choose something from my movement menu that feels right. Eat in a way that nourishes me. Lean on my practices when stress builds. None of that was a mystery.

I even crafted a plan. I called it My Glow Up for Bali 2026.

And somewhere along the way, the wheels fell off. Life got full, work got busy, and the plan slid quietly to the bottom of the list. In hindsight, making it a whole year out probably didn’t help either, because I know that one day in the future is a day that never quite arrives. I never set a start date. And without one, it just kept waiting.

Maybe you know that feeling. You know exactly what would help. Maybe you’ve even started. And then life got fuller, a day missed here and there, and suddenly you’re off track and getting back on feels like too much.

If that’s you, I get it. It doesn’t mean you lack discipline. Nothing is wrong with you.

Saying Yes to Support

So this year, when an invitation came along, I said yes.

A very long time friend of mine was starting up a new women’s wellness program. And when I say long time friend, I mean I’ve known her since we were children together. She’s worked in the health and wellness industry for decades, and she’s walking the perimenopause path too. She doesn’t get it from a textbook. She gets it from her own knowledge, her own experience, her own body.

And I trust her.

Saying yes didn’t feel like a risk. It felt easy. Sometimes the right support is simply the one that feels safe enough to say yes to.

Once I was in, I knew immediately what I was there for. Accountability. Not someone telling me what to do. I didn’t need more information. What I needed was a group of women walking it with me. Intelligent, self-motivated women, starting from very different places, all wanting similar things.

There’s something about knowing other women are showing up too. You check in. You notice when someone’s had a hard week. And someone notices when you’ve had one. On the days my own motivation dipped, theirs carried me a little.

This isn’t weakness. It’s how we’re wired. Dr Shelley Taylor wrote about this in her book The Tending Instinct. She called it tend and befriend. When stress builds, women often reach for each other. And if I’m honest, that’s the heart of my own work too. Connection. Women sitting alongside women, in a circle, in a program, in a conversation.

But my own wellness? That was the one place I’d always tried to go it alone. This year, I stopped.

Three Things I Noticed

The first showed up on my smart watch. Within a week or two of being more deliberate and intentional about my movement, my resting heart rate and recovery heart rate started to improve. My Apple Watch was sending me notifications about it. It was surprising, delightful and motivating in equal measure. So interesting how quickly the body responds to consistency.

The second was Bali. Comparing this year’s trip with last year’s, I was more active. I felt stronger. More confident. More comfortable in my own clothes.

And the third surprised me most. Moving more gave me the confidence to look for other ways to move. I’ve had my movement menu for a long time. Now I’m back to using it even more on purpose.

The Gift of One Less Decision

One of the things I’ve been absolutely loving might surprise you. The food plans.

Because the decision fatigue. Every single day. What am I going to eat? What’s in the fridge? What’s on the menu tonight? It’s a lot, and it adds up.

With a food plan that covers two weeks, the planning happens once. I’ve got everything I need, I’ve prepped it, and then I just know. That’s one less decision to make every single day. And when you’re already carrying so many decisions, that is genuinely gold.

And the food itself? It’s fresh, it’s fun and it’s flexible. Something I genuinely look forward to. Deprivation doesn’t live here.

So much wellness advice is built on going without. Being good so you can feel better later. But I really believe wellness should be enjoyable, fun even, in the here and now. Not only for what it might get you somewhere down the track.

What would it feel like if looking after yourself was something you actually looked forward to?

Why Strength Matters So Much Right Now

I’m still building on my strength, and there’s room to keep revisiting and refining as I go. And strength matters so much in this season. As oestrogen shifts through perimenopause, we lose muscle and bone density more quickly than we used to. The research is clear that a consistent strength practice is one of the most supportive things we can do for our bodies from our forties on. It supports our bones, our muscles, our metabolism, and even our mood.

But here’s the piece I really want to share. Confidence.

Strength training can feel intimidating. Walking into a gym and not knowing which machine does what. Feeling like everyone else knows the rules. Or standing in your lounge room with a set of weights, wondering if you’re even doing it right. I’ve felt it too. I knew strength mattered. I just didn’t always trust that I was doing it well. And honestly, that uncertainty was a big part of what made having a simple structure to follow so appealing. No overwhelm. Just somewhere to start.

Once I had that structure, I stopped second-guessing myself and just got on with it. And starting is where the confidence grew.

And strength doesn’t have to mean a gym or a set of weights. If you’re out hauling feed, mending fences or moving stock, your body is already doing strong, real work every day. That counts. Strength looks different in every woman’s life.

Maybe the Plan Was Never the Problem

If you’ve been carrying the knowing on your own and wondering why it hasn’t stuck, maybe the plan was never the problem. Maybe it was the support around it.

You can know all the things and still need someone to walk with you. Even coaches need coaches. And that’s not a failing. That’s just how real, lasting change actually works.

A Gentle Invitation

Some seasons call for a circle, and some call for one to one support.

If you’d like a plan built around your life with someone alongside you, Shimmer is my one to one wellness planning experience, shaped around you. The Spring/Summer Edit early bird is open now until the 26th of October. Early bird includes $100 off when you pay in full, a spring blend essential oil roller, and two weeks of voice messaging support with me.

And if you’d like something small to start with today, my free Spring Reset guide has five somatic practices you can use in under two minutes.

I also want to mention something I’m genuinely excited about. If you’re a woman in business looking for the kind of community I described in today’s episode, the Spiritual Business Mistressmind might be exactly what you’ve been looking for. It’s a powerful circle of heart led women in business, and I’m an affiliate because I believe in it wholeheartedly. You can find out more here

You don’t have to keep going it alone. The support that feels safe enough to say yes to is the right support.