Why “Now’s Not The Right Time” Is Keeping You Stuck
How many times have you said it?
“Now’s not the right time.”
“Maybe later.”
“I just can’t right now.”
If you’re a woman in your late 40s, 50s or beyond navigating perimenopause, menopause, empty nesting, career shifts, or caring for ageing parents — this phrase probably feels familiar.
And sometimes? It’s valid.
But sometimes, it’s something else entirely.
In this episode of Blossoming Beyond, I unpack why “now’s not the right time” can quietly become a pattern — and how that pattern may be keeping you stuck, dysregulated, and chronically overwhelmed.
This isn’t about pushing you into anything.
It’s about getting honest about what waiting is really costing you.
The Pattern: Waiting for the Perfect Moment
Here’s what I see constantly in my work with women navigating midlife transitions:
“I’ll focus on my health when work settles down.”
“I’ll slow down once the kids are more independent.”
“I’ll invest in support when we’re more financially comfortable.”
“I’ll prioritise myself when things calm down.”
But here’s the hard truth:
Things rarely calm down on their own.
There is always another responsibility.
Another demand.
Another person who feels more urgent than you.
Meanwhile:
Your nervous system keeps adapting.
Your cortisol stays elevated.
Your window of tolerance narrows.
Your exhaustion deepens.
And often, women don’t seek support because the timing improved —
they seek it because their body finally forces them to.
Burnout. Anxiety. Sleep disruption. Irritability. Brain fog. Emotional reactivity.
By the time many women say “yes” to support, it’s no longer proactive. It’s survival.
What “Now’s Not The Right Time” Is Really Saying
Let’s get curious about what this phrase might actually mean.
Because sometimes it’s practical — and that’s okay.
But often, it’s rooted in one of these deeper beliefs:
1️⃣ “I’m Not Worthy of This Yet.”
Many women have internalised the idea that rest, care, and support must be earned.
You must:
Be productive enough.
Be organised enough.
Be managing well enough.
Be struggling badly enough.
Only then do you get permission to prioritise yourself.
But the bar keeps moving.
And the “right time” never comes.
2️⃣ “What About Everyone Else?”
Women in midlife are often holding multiple roles:
Mother
Partner
Daughter
Professional
Friend
Carer
The idea of investing time, money, or energy in yourself can feel selfish.
But here’s what I know clinically:
A chronically dysregulated nervous system affects everyone around you.
When you’re depleted:
Patience shrinks.
Emotional tolerance narrows.
Presence decreases.
Connection suffers.
Regulating your nervous system isn’t selfish.
It’s relational.
3️⃣ “I Should Be Able to Handle This Alone.”
This one runs deep — especially for capable, competent women.
You’ve always been the steady one.
The one who manages.
The one who copes.
Asking for support can feel like failure.
But here’s the biological truth:
Your nervous system is designed for co-regulation.
Humans regulate through safe connection — not isolation.
There is no amount of willpower that replaces that wiring.
Needing support isn’t weakness.
It’s neurobiology.
4️⃣ “If I Slow Down, Everything Will Fall Apart.”
This is perhaps the most painful belief of all.
The idea that you are so load-bearing in your own life that you cannot pause.
But I want to gently ask:
What does it say about your systems if your care is impossible to prioritise?
And what happens when your body eventually forces you to stop?
Because chronic nervous system survival mode does have a threshold.
Waiting doesn’t prevent collapse.
It often accelerates it.
The Hidden Cost of Waiting
We carefully calculate the cost of investing in support:
Time
Money
Energy
Vulnerability
But we rarely calculate the cost of not investing.
Let’s name some of those costs.
🧠 The Cost to Your Nervous System
Chronic stress compounds.
Long-term dysregulation impacts:
Sleep quality
Immune function
Emotional regulation
Memory (hippocampus health)
Hormonal balance
Cognitive clarity
Waiting is not neutral. It’s physiological.
💛 The Cost to Your Relationships
A dysregulated nervous system narrows your window of tolerance.
That means:
Less patience
More reactivity
Less emotional availability
Less genuine connection
You may be prioritising others — but giving them a more depleted version of yourself.
💼 The Cost to Your Work
Chronic stress impairs your prefrontal cortex — the centre of:
Decision-making
Creativity
Problem-solving
Strategic thinking
You work harder for diminishing returns.
And then blame yourself for not performing the way you used to.
🌿 The Cost to Your Sense of Self
This one is quieter — but profound.
Every time you override your needs…
Every time you say “not yet”…
Every time you put yourself last…
You reinforce the belief that your needs matter less.
That belief accumulates.
Over years.
Over decades.
And it shapes how you show up in every area of your life.
There Will Never Be a Perfect Time
This might be uncomfortable to read.
But it’s true.
There will never be a season where:
Everyone else is fully sorted.
Work is completely calm.
Life is entirely predictable.
You feel 100% ready.
There is only the moment you choose.
Not because everything aligned.
But because you decided you matter.
A Different Approach: Support Before Collapse
If this resonates, here’s what I want you to hear:
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t need to hit burnout first.
You don’t need permission.
You need support before your nervous system reaches its threshold.
And that’s exactly why I created Season of Her™.
Season of Her™ — A 12-Week Nervous System–Led Coaching Journey
Season of Her™ is a 12-week group experience designed specifically for women in the second half of life navigating:
Perimenopause and menopause
Identity shifts
Chronic overwhelm
Emotional exhaustion
Midlife transition
Nervous system dysregulation
Inside the program, we focus on:
Nervous system regulation
Co-regulation through circle
Sustainable wellness practices
Mindset shifts without pressure
Meaning-making in midlife
Because insight without regulation doesn’t stick.
Support changes the order.
And the order changes everything.
A Gentle Invitation
Before you close this page, I invite you to sit with one question:
When I say “now’s not the right time” — what am I protecting?
Is it truly timing?
Or is it fear? Conditioning? Unworthiness? Exhaustion?
You don’t have to make a dramatic decision today.
But you do deserve honesty with yourself.
Your nervous system has been adapting for a long time.
Maybe it’s time to stop waiting for permission.
If this post resonated, you can listen to the full episode of Blossoming Beyond wherever you get your podcasts.
And until next time — be gentle with yourself.
You don’t have to carry this alone.